Worried Married guy..PLS HELP
Submitted by shay ross on Sun, 09/02/2007 - 2:58pm.
I was at the gym yesterday. I meet a guy there who I had seen before. We were in the steamroom when he started stroking himself. I got an erection seeing this and he reached over and started stroking my penis with the same hand. Also he put his saliva onto my penis. I then wiped it offand went to the shower. I then jacked him off. We are both uncircumcised if that makes any difference. What are my risk? I am scared about this encounter. I dont know alot about this guy.
Thanks for any help!!!
Shay
Thanks for all the help!
I guess no one has the answer. Thanks for the help anyway.
Some risk...
Hey, Shay...
Sorry for the very late reply. Our website has been undergoing some changes and system updates, so it's been a bit difficult to always see and respond to questions posted. I hope you still get this message! :)
For HIV to go from one person to another, you need three things:
1) An infected body fluid that has lots of HIV - Blood, brain/spinal fluid, sex fluids (like semen, precum, vaginal fluid and menstrual blood), and breastmilk.
2) An activity that exchanges these fluids - unprotected sex (vaginal, anal or oral), sharing blood equipment (like injection drug needles), childbirth and breastfeeding, and job-related risk (like getting poked with a freshly infected needle in a clinic job).
3) A way into your bloodstream - a fresh, open cut/sore/scrape/puncture wound/sore from a sexually transmitted infection.
If you combine these three things, you have a risk for HIV infection.
In answer to your question, your experience may have SOME risk for HIV...probably "low risk", because we see very few people report getting HIV from a handjob. However, if this guy had any precum or semen on his hand, and was stroking you with it, this could be a risk. Precum and semen can carry many sexually transmitted infections (STIs) if the guy is infected - including HIV. But while handjobs have never been considered "high risk" for HIV transmission, they can be higher risk for other STIs. Herpes and HPV (as well as some other things like scabies and crabs) can be spread just through skin-to-skin contact...so if he had any STIs, just stroking you after stroking himself could possibly pass those things on to you. Also, other STIs are generally more common out there than HIV.
As for neither of you being circumcised, this might "up the risk" a bit. The fluid under the foreskin could be a home for STIs if he's infected (including HIV), and if that fluid gets under YOUR foreskin, it could cause you to become infected, too. The membrane under the foreskin and inside the anus is delicate and can absorb things more easily than the skin on the outside of your penis. So, any STI in a sex fluid that comes in contact with those membranes is more likely to get into your bloodstream and cause an infection.
So - short answer, you were not at HIGH risk for HIV, but definitely SOME. As for other STIs, because of possibly getting his foreskin fluid under YOUR foreskin...well, the risk of catching other STIs might be a bit greater.
It might be a good idea to get screened for all the STIs at your local STI clinic, and try to reduce your risk in the future by not sharing sex fluids (ie. use a condom for vaginal, anal or oral sex, don't go back and forth between dicks while exchanging hand jobs).
There are a few places in Victoria that have fantastic staff, who know well the importance of confidentiality and understand the issues. The best clinics in Victoria for testing are:
Cook Street CRD Testing Clinic
1947 Cook St.
(250) 388-2220
The Island Sexual Health Society
(250) 592-3479
(call for locations and hours)
Hope this helps.
Please give us a call if you have any other questions. Our infoline number is 1-800-665-2437.
Take care.
Heidi Exner
Manager, Health Promotion and Community Development.