WORRIED OVER INCIDENT AT STRIP CLUB
Hey whats up all, I am worried over an erotic incident at the strip club. Tonight I ponied out some money and went into a private room, where things got a big heated. First I ate her out through her panties, and then gave her vagina a few licks without any protection. I sucked on her clitoral hood for a few seconds and then licked her mucous surrounding her vagina. I also got a protected blowjob, which I am not too worried over. My main concern is over the few licks I gave her vagina and few seconds of sucking on her clitoral hood. I had expected her clitoral hood to be dry, but I felt some moisture on my tongue after I licked her. My lips were a bit chapped and dry, may have had a very small cut on my bottom lip since it was so chapped. Thanks for any input.
I am worried because I have deeply congested nasals and a pressure/ache in my head. The doctor says I don't have a throat or ear infection, and no swollen liimp nodes. But my snot is yellow which may indicate an infection.
Unprotected Oral Sex
Hello!
In response to your question about going down on an exotic dancer, here is some information.
To become infected with HIV, you need three things:
1) A body fluid with lots of HIV
- infected blood,
- infected sex fluids (semen, pre-cum, vaginal fluids, menstrual blood)
- infected breast milk
- infected brain and spinal fluid
2) An activity that exchanges those fluids between two people:
- unprotected sex with someone who has HIV (anal, vaginal, and/or oral sex)
- sharing infected injection drug equipment
- sharing infected tattoo/piercing equipment
- from mother to baby (pregnancy, childbirth, or breastfeeding)
- work-related risks, usually medical in nature (for instance, accidentally cutting yourself during surgery on an HIV+ patient, or a needle-stick injury with a freshly-used needle with HIV+ blood on it)
3) A way into the bloodstream
- a fresh cut, sore, scrape or puncture wound (if it is already scabbed over or healing, it is no longer a fresh entrance to the bloodstream and therefor not a significant risk for HIV to enter the body)
In the past, it has been shown that HIV and other STIs can be spread through going down on someone unprotected when you get their infected sex fluids in your mouth, especially if you have wounds in or around your mouth (ie. cold sores, just brushed/flossed, had dental work done recently, have oral piercings or braces that scrape up your mouth, etc.). However, that said, IT IS NOT COMMON FOR HIV TO BE SPREAD LIKE THIS...but is DOES happen, so we must include this as a possibility. This is probably because there are enzymes in saliva that tend to weaken HIV, and our oral membranes are really good at healing after injury - both things that COULD REDUCE the risk of getting HIV from going down on your partner without protection, but WON'T ELIMINATE the risk altogether.
Keep in mind that to have someone go down on YOU will pose little if any risk for getting HIV from them because all you are probably getting in or on you is their saliva...and saliva doesn't carry HIV. HOWEVER - you could be being exposed to other STIs that way, so it's always best to use protection as often as possible. (For her part, the exotic dancer was taking precautions for her own safety by using protection when she went down on you.)
So, for your particular situation, I can't tell you that you were 100% safe when you went down on HER, since we don't know if 1) the exotic dancer had any STIs or HIV, and 2) we don't know if the sores on or around your mouth were really fresh or open. And the symptoms you list from a possible infection could be anything. So, the only way to really tell would be to go and get some tests for various STIs.
There are no guarantees, and I'm not a doctor but - knowing the stats around oral sex and STIs - chances are you are going to come out of this ok. I would still encourage you to go for STI testing soon so that you can know for sure that all is well, and get treated or start educating yourself just in case you did get infected with something.
Regarding future exotic dancer encounters (or any sexy stuff with anyone, really), just heed the basic rule of "keep your fluids to yourself" by either refraining from uprotected intercourse or using protection. For instance, using your hands on your partner is very safe, as is licking any part of their body besides their vagina/anus/penis. As long as you don't exchange sex fluids, you'll be quite safe.
Also, in general it might be useful to perhaps think twice about sex without protection. Many people think that it kills the mood to use protection or talk about what you need with your partner. Yes, it might feel like a slightly different energy in the beginning between you and your partner, but you might also find that - once you have the protection ready, the whole experience can be more entertaining and less stressful. Then, you can actually relax and enjoy the moment knowing there won't be many after-fears and regrets!
Hope this helps. For more info on where you can go for STI and HIV testing in your area, call our infoline at 384-2366 (in Victoria BC) or 1-800-665-2437.
Heidi Exner
Manager, Health Promotion and Community Development,
AIDS Vancouver Island.